In the latest Marvel flick,
the real villain should be kitsch.
Overblown, yet underwhelming,
the brothers Russo do the helming,
(Their last film built gravitas
off Kate Hudson’s acting chops.)
The Captain’s rival in this tale
has no panache. His rating: fail.
The Winter Soldier passes years
without aging, which is weird.
The secret is he takes long naps
and knows that getting old’s for saps.
They put him in the deepest freeze,
then thaw him out next to the peas.
We’d guess his neighbor in the crib
is a moldy Sundance Kid.
They only wake him up for missions
like killing folks, or doing dishes.
His look has aged since his last slumber –
you have to ask when he went under.
The time, the place, a mystery.
My guess? Seattle, ‘93